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If you hadn’t gotten the gist of what this post is about from the title and the Colbie Caillat music video, it’s about true beauty. I have tried my best not to make it too cheesy, but bear with me.
Middle school was a tough time for me, as it is for most people. From the time I was in about fifth grade until halfway through my eighth grade year (halfway because I moved schools), somebody told me I was ugly pretty much at least once a day. I got picked apart on a regular basis. There was always something wrong with my face, my hair, my outfit, or really anything else that I said or did. Why everything that I did was wrong is still a complete mystery to me, and one that I have stopped trying to figure out. One result of all of that (other than being a pretty depressed preteen) was that I had a completely screwed up perception of what beauty meant. I began to associate beauty with perfection. I used to think that clearly, there was something wrong with me, so if I could just be perfect everything would be fine; people would leave me alone, and maybe even like me. Maybe this is just me, but I feel like “I’m not good enough” is a common thought among many women, and even men, no matter what their middle school experience was like.
During my quest for perfection is when I first started becoming interested in clothes and make up. Before that I had basically been a tomboy and sported lots of boy clothes, but I had always been a creative brain. Ever since day one I always loved all things artsy. I loved to draw, paint, write, sing, the whole nine yards. What I came to realize whenever I began my messed up relationship with the world of fashion and beauty, is how artistic both of these things truly are. And thus, a beautiful love affair was born out of something really.. well, crappy. Don’t get me wrong, it was a rather unhealthy relationship at first, but as I grew up, the obsession with perfection (yes that rhymes) became a smaller and smaller piece of the puzzle. Fashion and beauty became a way for me to express myself, not a way for me to perfect myself.
Looking back now, I cringe at some of the things I wore in middle school and even high school, how thick I did my eyeliner on occasion (ok maybe a lot), and God help me, the time I decided that chin length hair was a good idea. However, I don’t regret it. All of those weird outfits and poorly applied make up is a large part of what guided me, slowly but surely, to the point of this entire post; that clothes and make up are both enhancers. This is something that took me a really long time to figure out. Underneath all of the fancy clothes and make up, until you are ok with you, I can’t help you here.
Since I am just starting out with this blog, this is my very first “beauty” post. Before I start posting pictures and talking about my favorite hair and make up tricks, I had to get down to the root of it all. I can write little how-to articles and post tutorial videos, but I’m here to tell you that none of that will truly make you beautiful until you actually believe it yourself. Beauty is being confident, kind, being yourself, and learning how to be ok with things. I am not saying to be complacent.. I am a firm believer in being the best you can be (see the about me section on my homepage). What I am saying, rather, is to accept what you can and cannot change or fix, and work on the things that you can. Get those highlights, that new pair of jeans, start that work out plan or diet, whatever! And of course read my blog (haha). Just realize that these are not the things that make you beautiful, they simply enhance the beauty you already naturally possess. Being the best you can be, and being beautiful, begins first on the inside. I’m here to help with the rest.
Which I promise I will get to. Outfit posts with pictures coming soon!